![]() ![]() This is Bud Light's most complex flavor to date, and it’s clear a lot of work went into it. I'm pretty flexible on what I find nog-ceptable, but the first sip totally nailed me to the wall. Seltzer Nog Seltzer Nog: A painful eruption of flavor. On the plus side, as a tabula rasa liquified, it won't conflict with what you are eating, no matter what it is. The only fleeting joy is in the realization of the void. Does flavor even exist? Who can tell? We're all just hurtling through space in a macabre parody of life, bereft of meaning. This is the Werner Herzog documentary of hard seltzers, and you'll soon be muttering to yourself, disoriented. The flavor, similarly inscrutable: Is that cherry? Berry? That's not what plums taste like, is it? Best to chug it so that the nothing doesn't have a chance to give way to Bud Light's signature alkaline finish. It has very little smell, and what is there is unidentifiable, most reminiscent of scented markers. Blank-faced, stoic and directionless, it sits like a stone on the side of the road. ![]() ![]() It's the rare beverage that says nothing, but somehow Sugar Plum is in this category. ![]() Others are more subtle about it: Coffee puts an encouraging arm around you at work iced tea just wants to help you relax on a sunny summer afternoon. Some beverages just scream optimism, you know? Orange juice. Suggested pairing: Any cookie, especially a gingersnap, will smooth out the rough spots without succumbing to the carob. I have to admit it's perversely entertaining, like a sketchy carnival’s funhouse mirror. You had a fun but questionable friend in college who would love this flavor. Instead of cherry, chocolate, vanilla and kirsch liqueur, it's more like maraschino, carob, marshmallow and ethanol. The flavor of this seltzer isn't as immersive as the smell, mercifully. After a couple of days, the alcohol inside turns the fondant layer into vanilla goo. In case you haven’t had the pleasure, this unfortunate sweet is a candied cherry soaked in liqueur, wrapped in a thin layer of fondant and covered in chocolate. They aren’t as ubiquitous as they once were around the holidays, probably because they’re disgusting. Instead, in a remarkable achievement in aroma technology, it smells precisely like being actually inside a cherry cordial. Courtesy Heather Martinīecause I never learn, I thought this one was a cute seasonal name for plain cherry seltzer, which I often love. Buckle up! Cherry Cordial We don’t think it should be called Cherry Cordial. At least, that’s what I’m going to be repeating to myself as we taste these. Surely this is a wink and a nod, right? Everyone loves ugly sweaters at parties, but nobody wears them around the house unless they’re in on the joke. Nothing for it but to seek the pumpkin by tasting.This time, I think the name and package design are spot-on: retro kitsch, fun metallic colors, knitted-stitch graphics. This was a real failure of my cynical imagination, and I'm ashamed. It smells exactly like our old friend Apple Crisp, now with more clove and no apple! And also no pumpkin! In retrospect, I had a subconscious belief that this would be the best flavor. Third: Pumpkin Spice Bud Light Pumpkin Spice Seltzer Courtesy Heather Martin Between the fickle fruit flavor and 10-foot-tall, bulletproof maple punch, it is … un pearable. (You know what, let's pour the rest of them in a glass.) I often find that blunts other flavors for me - happily, in this case, because it cuts the alkaline quite a bit. It's much sweeter than the Apple Crisp, because it and the remaining varieties contain stevia. It's like eating a Canadian flag leaf-first. Onward.Īs a pear-tolerant real maple enthusiast, I expect to be disappointed and am gratified. Anyone who has tried unaccompanied vanilla extract knows that aroma doesn't equal flavor, though. It's still fruit peel, but floral rather than fake, and the maple smells good-naturedly sticky. Second: Maple Pear Bud Light Maple Pear Seltzer Courtesy Heather Martin Suggested pairing: On the rocks, with whole-grain crackers and sharp cheddar, it's almost drinkable. ![]()
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